The Journey is made of SHORT TERM Goals that you choose, or at least control somewhat. These will lead to LONG TERM Goals, when your child grows up like being Independent, to Belong, to develop Skills, and to be Giving! And it happens, almost before you know it, so watch those SHORT TERM Goals – one day at a time!
Hello, Mom and Dad! Gene & TSK (that special kid of yours) here! We’ll share with you the secrets of being 9 months Old!
LONG TERM Goal: Skills are the Name of Game and there are a lot of games to be played… Like “Dropsy”, or “I remember I like the OTHER toy you AREN’T giving me!”, and “I DON’T like peas today, either!” Yes, Long Term Memory is setting in, so look forward to STRANGER ANXIETY and TEMPER FITS!
SHORT TERM goals of the skills you will help TSK achieve! This changes a lot of the social interactions and can make for more frustrations! Hang in there and ask about Behavior issues! TSK is learning by leaps and bounds!
LONG TERM Goal: Independence is now on the agenda! You will notice this with TSK showing more temper fits when you do anything that he or she thinks should be different! This is normal! Try to enjoy all the new skills and ignore the temper fits!
SHORT TERM goals, you give to TSK! So, all this adds STRESS to your life; last month you had a A sweet baby and now you have… more of a grumpy baby! Try to enjoy the Happy times, and ignore the grumpy times.
Other reasons to Call:
A way to stay “up-to-date” on TSK’s needs: Plan Ahead!
And it all happens each day as you make choices! Here is a list of things to possibly add to your Healthy Child Calendar, to be sure they get done:
Just when you thought you were getting the hang of this parenting thing, WOW!; you wake up one morning to a different baby! Most babies until nine months are happy most of the time. When they do show displeasure, it is only for a few minutes; then they are all smiles for anyone who is around! Now, seemingly all of a sudden, your baby may be afraid to go to strangers (or even Grandma!), and howls when he/she is denied a mouth inspection of the electric cord. You may actually get “Looks that Could Kill” when you stop playing your baby’s favorite game of “How Fast Can Mommy Pick up the Toy that I’m Throwing on the Floor?” Take heart: this is all normal. Since this is the first time you may have started to experience true frustration with your baby’s behavior, it is important to start recognizing your feelings, so that you can deal with your baby effectivel
Lest we forget- Review your Child Care situation in light of the changing personality issues listed below. If you haven’t visited with your Provider recently, Do It Soon! Your baby is changing, and now is the time to reassess! See the Child Care Provider Check List at the end.
Stranger Anxiety: Babies cry with anyone (including grandparents/sitters) except the main caregivers. This makes the grandparents/sitters feel guilty
when they leave the baby.
Babies start showing opinions, especially more displeasure at things. It is harder to pacify these infants, and now true anger and frustration scenes will be present. How should you act? Is this the beginning of defiance and discipline problems? Horror pictures flash through your mind! Well, it’s not that bad; read on!
Memory development is a major key to these new behaviors. Babies have now have many experiences that have been categorized and placed in memory. Also, the brain has a special area, the limbic system, which assigns likes and dislikes to each experience. Now, when your baby experiences something, it is immediately processed by many parts of the brain, and memory pulls a similar experience up for comparison. If there was a strong emotion before, like “This looks like that game I liked before!”, then the baby will respond with smiles and pleasure. Memory now allows the baby to remember things that are not immediately in the baby’s sight; this is called object permanence. Babies begin to realize that they are separate from everything. This accounts for the baby now showing more fear at things, and people they don’t have lots of contact with on a daily basis (like grandparents/occasional sitters). It must be very scary for babies to suddenly realize how vulnerable and dependent they are, so to counteract this, they quite often become more demanding! If you respond in a quiet, non-angry, but consistent manner, your baby will learn this method of dealing with these feelings. At this age, your baby is not being demanding just to make you unhappy; he/ she is doing it from his/her own needs!
Fine motor functions of the fingers are seen with finger-thumb action to pick up objects. Gross motor functions show crawling and pulling to stand, maybe cruising. Encourage all kinds of activities with the hands/ fingers, and encourage crawling/pulling to stand!
Use of “dadadada” or “mamama” is seen, but may not be specific. Babbling with inflection and longer conversations are seen. Continue reading, singing, and talking lots to your baby!
See above. This will be the beginning of helping your child learn to deal with the emotions of fear, frustration, and anger. Spending time to understand your child’s feelings (as best you can!), is the hardest thing; this literally takes hours of your undivided attention. Planning to spend time with and thinking about your child, and building this into your daily life will be the most important gift you will ever give your child!
Your baby will start showing more stress symptoms now. Techniques to help, include sucking (thumb, or pacifiers). Sucking has a quieting response by getting the heart, blood pressure, and respirations to become more even and easy. This may be due to one of those neurotransmitter patterns discussed several months ago. Sucking may be a normal, needed response until the child is two years old. It is better to start some limitation on it, however, at this age, when the child will be spending more time out of the bed. One line of thinking suggests keeping the pacifiers in the bed, and encouraging a child to use sucking as a relaxation mechanism mainly in his/her own bedroom. It isn’t good for a child’s mouth/teeth to suck all the time, and eventually, this relaxation technique will need to be replaced with something more practical. Some people think that prolonged sucking may lead to nail biting and smoking, as mechanisms of oral stimulation. Another Stress Management technique to start at this age goes back to understanding the brain’s need for time to process information. Most of us need more time alone to process information when we get upset, so leaving your baby alone for a few minutes when upset may help. Being consistent in how you approach and work with your baby will let him/her know what to expect, and greatly diminishes stress, as does keeping the daily schedule consistent.
Feeding – Feeding – See Six Month Visit: continue breast or formula feeds and appropriate vitamins until one year. Continue slowly adding solids, watching for choking hazards. Encourage cup drinking.
TV/Videos – aren’t recommended until 2 years of age, and then no more than 1 hour/day.
THANK YOU for sharing your journey with Dr. Greta and her advisor, Gene. Together, you will explore the wonders of your child’s growth and development. We will explore how to use SHORT TERM Goals to reach your LONG TERM goals… and how to enjoy the Journey… One Day at a Time! Under the tutelage of Gene, this material is developed by Greta McFarland, MD FAAP Box 849 Ashley Clinic Chanute, KS 66720.