Ready for school?  This week I’ll share with you information from the website, www.healthychildren.org, on general school issues, and the first is “Making the 1st Day of School Easier”, and I paraphrase.  Most children are anxious and excited on the first day of school.  You can help make the day easier for your youngster by keeping the following guidelines in mind:  1) Point out the positive aspects of starting school:  It will be fun.  Your child will see old friends, and meet new friends.  Reminisce about previous years, or a particularly good time.  2) Remind your child that everyone is a bit uneasy about the first day of school.  Teachers know that students are anxious and will be making an extra effort to make sure everyone feels as comfortable as possible.  3) Review all your child’s accomplishments from last year, and talk about the kinds of interesting things ahead in the months to come.  4) Give a small, appropriate gift for school (like a pen or pencil) that will remind your child you are thinking of him or her, or put a note in a pocket or lunch-bag.  5) Reassure your child that if any problems arise at school, you will help resolve them, and be sure you keep your promise!  6) If appropriate, find other kids in the neighborhood who may be able to go to school together.  Encourage your child to look for new students in the classroom or playground, and invite them to join the group.  After school, show your child some special attention and affection.  If this is a new school experience or kindergarten, visit the school prior to the first day, and if possible meet the teachers and staff.  Answer any questions your child might have, as best you can.  Watch your child’s moods and be there to listen.  And it all starts with a hug, I’m Dr. Greta McFarland.

Topic #2

Another good topic about school, found at www.healthychildren.org, is on school avoidance, and I paraphrase.  For some children, being at school, away from home and apart from parents, causes great anxiety.  Such children, when faced with situations they fear, may try to keep from returning to school.  This school avoidance is not uncommon and occurs in as many as 5% of kids.  These youngsters may outright refuse to attend school.  They may miss a lot of school, complaining of not feeling well, with vague, unexplainable symptoms, like headaches, stomachaches, hyperventilation, nausea or dizziness.  In general, more clear-cut symptoms like vomiting, diarrhea, fever or weight loss, which are likely to have a physical basis, are uncommon.  School refusal symptoms occur most often on school days, and are usually absent on weekends.  Though the child may have a hard time discussing the matter, some of the common reasons for school avoidance include fear of failure, being teased or bullied, anxieties over going to the bathroom in a public bathroom, or perceiving that a teacher or other authority figure is “mean”.  The first step in helping your child is to have a physical exam, to rule out any other conditions.  Next, visit with your child to see if you can understand the cause.  Visit with the school personnel, to have a unified approach and to be sure no bullying is occurring.  Once you are convinced the environment is safe, help your child develop strategies to deal with the anxiety, but the child needs to go to school.  Giving in and letting the child stay home, will not help in the long run.  Visit with your doctor or mental health facility if this isn’t resolved in a fairly short period of time.  Give that kid a hug, or maybe lots of them.  I’m Dr. Greta McFarland. 

Topic #3

So how do you talk about the school day with your child?  According to a piece on the healthy children website at www.healthychildren.org, how you ask the question may make a difference as to what answers are given.  For example, Jr comes home from school and you ask, “What did you do in school today?”  The answer may be, “Nothing.”  Sound familiar?  Well, here are ideas for question asking, and I paraphrase.  Ask fairly direct questions, at a time that is appropriate.  For instance, when a child first arrives home from school, he might be tired and want a snack, or want to relax or play with a friend rather than rehash the day.  It might be better to talk with him about school later in the day or evening, or begin the conversation with a statement like, “You look hungry.  Let’s have a snack and then you can tell me about your day.”  Make the questions as focused and nonjudgmental as possible.  For instance, you might ask: “What new thing did you learn today?” or “What questions did you ask in class?” or “How is that book you’ve been reading in class?  What’s happening in the story?” or “Do you have any papers or artwork in your backpack that we could look over?” or “Is learning long division getting a little easier?” or “Tell me about the spelling test.  Were there any words you had trouble with?”  If the teacher will be sending notes home routinely, it can be a good habit to review those notes at a set time each day.  Occasionally, your child might want to talk about school when you’re in the middle of something else.  As much as possible, try to be responsive, but help the child to realize that you really want to hear what they have to say, and be sure you do hear what they have to say, as soon as possible.  Time is the most important thing you can give to your child, and listening with respect shows your love and concern.  Give that kid a hug, I’m Dr. Greta McFarland.